Note: This article is speculative. Some would claim that it is primarily based on “projection” as defined in the “Glossary of Magick Male Terms,” but I would rather say that I extrapolate from my own experiences and observations in forums, Telegram, and statements from Orlando. Whether I am using the term correctly from a scientist’s point of view is debatable.
The reader may decide for themselves whether my perspective aligns with reality or not.
Dealing with Magick Male is a tricky matter. As a highly emotional person, I felt deeply connected to Orlando’s speeches and (presumed?) experiences. Please note that I added the term “presumed” when referring to experiences. It’s not an accusation; I simply don’t know. Orlando, as a person on stage, somehow appears authentic to me, but I cannot be certain.
He talks about psychological border experiences, and many of his stories resonate with me as authentic. I believe I recognize myself in them, and I can draw parallels between his metaphors and experiences I have had while exploring similar topics.
Some may cry out “projection” again. God, how I hate that word. It makes me doubt my own mind in this incredibly complicated process and makes me feel like my emotions are pure madness.
On one hand, it’s said that participants should reconnect with themselves. On the other hand, this seems to evoke various fears. The atmosphere in Magick Male seems to discourage participants from daring to be vulnerable or showing their true selves even more.
Accurate portrayal? No? Well, that’s how I feel, at least.
The Falling Members in the Community
In the Self-Consciousness Workshop in 2015, Orlando was once again in his own little world. As always, he shared various things that sounded confusing, but, as described above, align with my experiences.
He describes how to deal with difficult issues using a metaphor. An airplane is flying through a storm, and in the middle of the storm, it starts to descend. The crew does everything they can to prevent it: pulling the control stick backward, lifting the nose higher and higher.
And something happens that every pilot should be familiar with: a stall. The airplane climbs so steeply that the airflow around the wings separates, and it falls to the ground.” *
Orlando’s conclusion: “Sometimes you have to fly beneath a thunderstorm.”
I interpret this story to mean that sometimes it’s necessary to take cover. Or that when I’m feeling bad, it’s not advisable to artificially try to “control” it but rather to go through the crash practically.
Complicated, but understandable, I think.
And No One Writes About It…
Hardly anyone really writes about how they feel during difficult times. Individual posts can be found, but unfortunately, it’s unpredictable whether they will receive helpful responses or loud shouts of “victim mentality” and “stop whining.”
But they do exist. Sporadically. And they can also be found on Telegram. “It feels like I have developed PTSD,” one person writes (a diagnosis also given by my current psychotherapist). Another wrote something like: “The darkness is engulfing me. It feels like it will never end. I do grounding exercises like crazy, but it just doesn’t help.“
Yet another person talks about sensing ghosts and demons around them. I have also experienced something similar briefly under the influence of psilocybin, or at least I gained a glimpse of what it might mean. Alternatively, I felt it when I delved deeply into my issues and relaxed.
It seems to be related to a so-called core belief or trauma that has been “triggered.” And it’s quite telling how little this is addressed in the groups.
No message from the team, at least not publicly. Not a word from Orlando.
And in such a state (which I have experienced repeatedly over the years), I would be terrified that the whole community would turn against me. Because this is about exceptional states, and the community reacts unpredictably to them.
Too embarrassing? Too stupid? Too childish? Too much of a victim mentality? I keep noticing that even the teen adventure books I used to read described such things in a much more vivid and human way. Likewise, the book “The Confusions of Young Törless”, which I only dared to read in small parts back then. And all sorts of behaviors labeled as “childish” are likely to be ways to compensate for such states or cope with these emotions. In plain language: drama. Foolishness. “Seeking too much attention” (how evil!).
Or “lashing out wildly“. Orlando certainly does that often enough, and Mia Lanze and Alexander Schütze from the team love to put participants down and humiliate them, and some participants like to behave either tyrannical or childish. Or both together.
No support. And it gets even worse.
How Does the Community React to Such Things?
What do individual members think in the Telegram groups? Perhaps some feel ashamed of not having lived up to the high standard? Or are they afraid of being attacked because they supposedly “gave in”? Maybe some don’t want to admit how they have been torn down by others, be it by their boss, the threat of mandatory vaccination, or something else nasty?
A participant named Arthur (name changed, as always) got vaccinated. As a result, he withdrew from public discussions and described to me how “a strange calm came over him” after he did it. What effect did that have on the community? Perhaps some secretly vaccinated themselves but continued to portray themselves as steadfast in the group?
Does it even fit into this community’s self-image to be “victims”? And how does the “editorial team” at MM react? Do they even notice, or does the motto “what cannot be, must not be” apply here?
Questions upon questions. But probably the answer from our favorite helpers in the ivory tower in St. Petersburg can also be found in the following dialogue from one of the Academy Talks. **
What a Desperate Participant Can Expect from the Team
Mia Lanze: “I’ve just reached the point where I can’t take it anymore. It’s just those few men (she starts to screech and whine like a little girl) who think that just because they’re loud… So why can’t you just improve, you few outliers. Others are also developing so well! No, you’re not real men, sorry.”
And Orlando responds:
Orlando: “I don’t have to apologize for such statements, Mia.“
The Conclusion: The Message Reaches the Community
No wonder that many don’t want to confront their core beliefs, or that so little of it is genuinely discussed and surfaced in the community. No wonder the community becomes toxic when someone is seriously struggling. No wonder the whole place reacts so incredibly toxic.
It seems that Magick Male can become genuinely dangerous for participants at times. Or, as guest author Müller nicely put it in his article:
(Orlando’s) shadow and his overconfidence get in the way, causing significant harm (instead of providing genuine help).
(…)
It is highly problematic that people who carry significant issues themselves are allowed to unleash themselves on individuals who are sometimes in a psychological state of emergency. The behavior of many forum members is really disgusting and creepy, clearly showing sect-like characteristics.
Guest author Müller in his article, which can be found here.
Footnotes:
* I am sure that my explanation here would make any civil engineer or physicist cringe; it is a metaphor that I am probably representing inaccurately from a physical standpoint. For that, I beg forgiveness. Whether Orlando meant what I inferred from it, I don’t know; he may forgive me for the misrepresentation. The story seems to be based on the Air France Flight 447 accident.
** I am aware of the specific podcast from which this dialogue originates. However, for certain reasons, I prefer not to be too specific here. Thus, the dialogue is slightly altered. The tone and content remain unchanged, though the context from which these quotes originated differs slightly from that of this article. Nevertheless, I believe it should fit well with this article and reflect the mindset at Magick Male accurately.
PS: A Personal Note
By the way, a reader I spoke with on the phone mentioned that “almost everyone” in their small group “had a story about me.” This includes things like me losing my wallet at Feel Different or throwing up at FAMP 2017.
Well, you little wretches, go to hell. I’m definitely not writing for you.
